We're Adopting!

We're Adopting!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Damages of being a NICU nurse before being a mother

Now, I must start by saying... I know every new mother has fears... fears that their baby could stop breathing or fears that something is wrong. And yes, I have these... though I try to put SIDS in the back of my mind and so what I can to prevent it and pray every night before I lay him down that God will protect him throughout the night.

What my problem is... is being a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) nurse haha!
You see, in my job I take care of babies... lots of babies 40+ hours a week, and most are sick or very premature. I feel comfortable with things about Carter such as when he is a poor feeder, or when his bili was borderline, etc. What I am not comfortable with is the lack of things he has. Such as, he did not have a CBC, RFP, CHEST XRAY, BLOOD CULTURE, ETC. Ya know, the full work up! He is not always on a monitor and he does not have a nurse laying eyes on him 24/7.

In my job, its hard to get too nervous. The babies have a full work up, are assessed frequently, are on monitors so if they brady down or have desat episodes, or quit breathing... I know! And there is a Nurse Practitioner across the hall 24/7. At home, I have none of that..

So yes,  I have already text a co-worker asking how to suction his nose because I do not have a normal saline flush and wall suction (I needed more than just a bulb syringe)

I have texted her asking if there was anything related to stoma adhesive or calmoseptine... because that's the good butt paste we use at work, I am not a fan of the OTC stuff.

I have texted her ... and sent a couple a video of him breathing fast (because yes, I do an assessment and count his respirations :/) and made sure that they thought he was okay.

COME ON MARIAH!! Just relax! But it is sooo hard to. I don't want to miss anything and something happen and me not be able to forgive myself. But the neonatal knowledge I have does make things more scary and makes me notice... everything.

Word of advice... me a mom THEN a NICU nurse so you do not know so much!

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