The night before delivery was the longest night of my life...
We had a wonderful dinner with the birth mother and originally we were 99.9% sure that we would for sure bring Carter home. After meeting her, it made us nervous. She was so sweet, so motherly, so kind.. so amazing. We immediatley connected, which was a wonderful thing! But, when we were told that she wanted to spend most of the day time with the baby I about vomitted.
I felt guilty too. How selfish is it for me to be bothered that the mother of her child wants to spend time with her baby. My main issue was the fear of her sweet self seeing him, holding him, then keeping him.
I prayed... I prayed that God could give me a clear mind and the understanding that I needed.
And he did.
After being sick all night, tossing and turning, and wanting to throw up... I woke up at 6am (breakfast was being served so I knew I could just hang out in the lobby) and grabbed some coffee. Out of nowhere I felt numb. I felt that I had put everything into God's hands.
I then told myself, "it's okay Mariah. If he is meant to be your Carter then he will. There is no reason to fear, God is in control so sit back and savor every moment."
We recieved the text from our case manager and she said BM was at 4 cm so to come on up to the hospital so we could visit.We went to our car and that's when the devil decided to play games...
Someone busted out the rear passenger window attempting to steal what they thought was luggage..we think! The car seat was the only thing in the car and it was still wrapped in airport paper. Well, they didn't take it but the bag is ripped. I am sure they were disappointed.
We were so mad we just laughed, Cory died laughing.... really? Not one other car was touched but ours was the morning we were going to see our baby! I was annoyed that we were going to have to pay $197 to fix it and spend the time to get it fixed when I wanted to be at the hospital.
Fortunatley, God knocked the devil out and Cory thought to contact another agency, who told us our insurance which is AAA will cover it AND come to the hospital and fix it.. in the parking lot!
They came at 2, and were done at 2:45 which was when I sent Cory a message telling him to hurry back in, our BM went froma 6 to 10 and was pushing!!