Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Some people may say I am crazy for going ahead and doing this, but we could get him ANY day... Yes, we may go through failed adoptions and it may take a year, or two, or more... or it may take one day. WHO KNOWS? But going into this nursery and walking by it every day gives my hope. It gives me faith that one day, I will be a mother and a sweet boy will be in that room. The decision to buy baby items and complete a nursery has helped me and made this "adoption pregnancy" more real.Cory put up the crib, so kuddos to him! Chelsea and I handmade nearly everything in baby Carter's nursery. The time spent on this was sooo worth it! Not only did it build mine and Chelsea's friendship, but it made the nursery SO special knowing mommy helped make it!
Today was an exciting/emotional/ and overwhelming day! We chose 4 agencies (in addition to the ones our consultant will get referrals from) and sent of multiple copies of our home study and profiles. We literally are done with the everything until we get matched with a birth mom!!
This is an exciting step but also a testing step. I have prayed so hard for Gods strength. We could get "the call" tomorrow or a year from now. We may get selected and our birth mom may change her mind and we will have to deal with the emotional loss. I know God led us down the adoption path for a reason and I pray he provides Cory and I with the strength and knowledge to make the right decision. And of course, I pray that there is a match QUICKLY!
Monday, September 9, 2013
Our social worker is sending the final documents to our home study agency TOMORROW. Within three days we will probably hear from them to review and FINALIZE!! This means we are READY. Yes, Home study ready, baby ready, ready, ready, ready!!! Our sweet consultant, Tracie Loux is a superstar and made our profile for us. I am posting a sneak peak! This is the profile full of information about or lives that will be presented to the birthmom and she will use this to pick us. We have raised money from our pocket tee sales and I was able to use it to purchase our profiles and pay application fees for the agencies so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Every penny goes a long way and I cannot express how thankful I am for all of you who have donated by purchasing an item or donated by saying a prayer for us. I will keep you updated this week with any new news!!!
Friday, September 6, 2013
One thing that has been so comforting throughout this process is the decrease in wanting something so bad... Because I'm getting it. My whole life I imagined what it would be like to get married and have my first child. I imagined a beautiful pregnancy full of nights begging Cory to run and get me pickles and ice cream when I wanted it and I imagined looking beautiful (as beautiful as myself could get haha) and having the pregnancy "glow." I always thought pregnancy was the most beautiful thing God allowed a person to go through.
I've known for years that adoption was meant for me, but the timing I did not. How was I supposed to know when to adopt? Do you have biological first? Do you have a biological at all? Fears of bonding and not carrying a baby crossed my mind at the beginning. Fortunately, I don't even think about "being pregnant." I am pregnant, in a different way. I am expecting a baby and have the opportunity to prepare a nursery, make the decision of a name with my husband, and prepare myself to be the Godly mother God has called me to be. The strength God has given me blows me away.
After fourteen long months I have no worries. Yes, things are going to be hard, especially with school and work but I have the most amazing family and friends a person could ask for (yes I am crying right now) and I have The Lord who will continue to give me strength.
This decision God has led us to has been the biggest blessing in my life and we don't even have the best part of it yet.
Why am I writing this? I really don't know, ha! I just know that the time is coming... The time to get "the call" and fly to whatever state necessary. The time to be terrified about whether or not the birth mom will change get mind, and the time The Lord comes and says "it's okay, I know the plans I have for you." The time to ask our community to pray for the birth mother and us, and the time to bring the baby home in our arms....forever. I found some scriptures that I read almost daily to remind me of Gods calling and how wonderful this journey will be. In about 10 days we finalize the paperwork by reviewing the typed home study and then we wait... We wait for "the call."